Uncertainty

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Uncertainty.
That is my life right now.
So much has changed in two short years of my life, it makes my head swirl when I think about it. Almost every aspect of it has changed in some way.
Change is hard and painful, but it can be beautiful.
I feel I’m in a forever stage of changing.
Changing my job, my hair, friends, schedules and routines.
And when my head is spinning from it all I try to fixate on the things that don’t change. The constants in my life.
My love for my kids. My God. The people in my life that don’t leave. My family. My passions.
People who have been through a lot say things like “you are the only one you can depend on.”
Well, while that can be true, I would find that to be difficult and sad.
If I didn’t have my dad, my grandma, or my best friend to lean on I don’t know where I would be. I can’t do it alone. God didn’t intend for us too either.
He brings us the people we need. “A cord of three strands can not easily be broken.”
He knows I need people. Though there were times I wasn’t sure which people. But God moves things around so everything is how it should be.
Uncertainty of life is scary. For me at the moment there is so much that I don’t know for sure.
I can’t say where my schooling will take me.
I can’t say what my girls interest will be ( they change their minds quite frequently.)
I don’t know what my health problems could lead too.
I can’t say if my new business partnership will take off.
I don’t know what tomorrow brings at all.
Its hard to stand and not know where the wind will blow… not knowing what it will bring. It seems there’s always something.
Not all that comes my way has been bad… that’s the beauty of life.
The circumstances have changed me. I take all thats come my way so far as lessons learned.
But when my anxiety gets high and my worries are too much to bear… I look to what I can depend on.
And of course I’m forever grateful for those unwavering certainties.

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