To: Judgey McJudgerson

“Judge thee lest be judged…”

We all do it. I’d be lying if I said I’ve never judged another person based on a friends opinion, based on what someone was wearing, based on how they just yelled at their kids (don’t even get me started on mom-shaming)… I’ve done it and guess what, so have you!

They always say the first step to changing a problem is admitting it. I don’t have a particular problem with judging others but its something that has happens from time to time, its almost human nature but I am trying my very best to quit it.

Why? Because I know all too well how it feels to be judged. And it doesn’t feel good. No matter what I preach about not caring what others think, whenever I hear something someone has said about me that’s not true but others believe it, or a story that’s been twisted, I cringe. I cringe because half the time when people says things about me or my situation they only hear one side. I cringe because people are all too willing to make a snap judgement from something they hear without knowing the full story. I cringe because you can’t judge someone when you have never walked in their shoes!

This goes for everything. Judging someone based on what they wear…. I mean who cares! My daughter never matches and I’m sure there is some teacher thinking “Why does her mom let her out of the house like that?” More on that topic later… What gets me most is judging others based on who they love and based on what race they are, or their religion. This happens too much! And with all these social media platforms, everyone has an opinion on it.

Who are we to judge anyone? We all make mistakes. We all have reasons why we do the things we do. Why should you care if a man loves another man? Just because a person is covered in tattoos does that put them in a specific box? If a mother loves to be a stay at home mom, drive a mini van, and be that typical “soccer mom” does that mean you know what shes all about?

I guess its just easier to fit people into a box or a certain category of what type of person they must be based on their social status, their crazy hair color, the color of their skin. The list goes on. What about getting to know the person inside? It is whats inside that counts, right?

If we are going to pass judgement on someone shouldn’t it be more about where their heart is coming from instead? Or shouldn’t it be based on actual actions and things they have done that do define them?

I am a Christian. Does that put me in a box? Does that mean I can’t believe gay marriage is ok? Does it mean I only hang out with other people who are Christian? Does it mean I have to fit into some mold? Do you think you know me now? A lot of people can call themselves a Christian, but are they? Again, its not anyone’s place to judge. You don’t know their heart.

I’m also a Democrat and have a very liberal way of thinking. Does that put me in a box? Does that mean I must feel a certain way about the big issues that separate Democrats and Republicans? Are you judging me now?

I’m also a beauty school drop out. Does that mean you have me pegged as a quitter?

I’m divorced. I married young. I’m a mother. I have tattoos. I eat meat. I’m not rich. I like wearing dresses, a lot.. does it mean I care too much about looking nice? For sure, not. All these things are things about me but they don’t define me.

But I bet you have already made some sort of judgement based on a few facts.

And whats worse there are those out there that have made passed judgement on me based and things that are not even fact or based on mere perception. Perception is reality, isn’t it?

I think its not our place. And coming from someone who does consider themselves a Christian, I really believe its not my place or anyone elses. The one above calls us to love another and meet people where they are at. To live by example. He makes the ultimate call on things, not you or I.

I try my best to teach my kids that we are all the same. Its not ok to knock others down or make fun of people, essentially judging them. I try to instill kindness in them. I have to tell you in this day and age you would think we have come farther but the bullying in schools now is probably worse than ever. I’m scared for the world that my girls have to grow up in.

But it starts with us. If you know what someone is going through you can’t judge their actions. Just like the old saying you can’t judge a book by its cover. You never really know whats going on with someone unless you care enough to ask.

Judge less and love more. You would be surprised how the world will look so much differently if you do.

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