OK ladies and gents… Can we talk about how important it is to raise our daughters with a decent self-image and how hard it is?!
For one thing, every time they turn on the TV what kind of role-models are they seeing? Real everyday women, working real jobs in everyday life?
Not quite… instead they see teenagers wearing fancy clothes, that don’t have weight issues, living a life that requires no worries of cash flow whatsoever…
And there is no telling what body image struggles they face at school during the day. Or what they may see on social media when they get older…
So, it seems we have our work cut out for us. I mean, I would be lying if I, even at this age, flip through my Instagram and don’t feel some type of way about the thin model type bodies I see.
How can I let my daughters know how beautiful they are inside and out? How can I shield them from a society that views beauty in a different way?
This isn’t a new issue, but it’s one I’ve done a LOT of thinking about considering I have three daughters and considering I let my self-esteem be determined by men for a long time… Yes, you read that right. I wasn’t always confident. I needed a guy to tell me how beautiful I am. I needed that reassurance from men. And I let that dictate my relationships for a long time. Which is why it was easy to see how my self-image fell apart when a man put me down over and over again. I started to believe the God-awful things he called me and said to me. But that’s another topic for another day…
All that to say this.. besides telling my daughters over and over again how great they are, that they are in fact princess and deserve to be treat as such.. I must SHOW them what good self-esteem and image looks like by being the example.
Meaning, I had to start watching what I say about myself in front of them. I started catching myself every time I made a comment about how fat I think I am. Which, to my surprise, I was in fact horrible to myself. Once I realized the stuff I was spewing out, once I started listening to what I was saying, it wasn’t very nice. What kind of example is that? My daughters hearing me calling myself fat, or that I think I must fit into certain clothes, or that I don’t think I’m very smart. What are they taking in when they hear me say those things?
Since kids listen to everything their parents say, and watch what we do I had to better myself. I stopped calling myself fat for one thing. It was a struggle though as tried to fit into certain items from my closet that I could no longer fit into. I had/have to be more positive about myself so they see that.
And on a much bigger note since I’m a single mom, and since part of the reason I left my ex-husband was so my girls didn’t have the wrong ideas about love and how a woman should be treated, I had/have to show them how a woman should be treated!
Step one, was leaving an abusive relationship. They saw that.
Step two, is NEVER letting a man treat me less than a princess. I deserve the royal treatment for damn sure and so do my daughters. Hopefully one day, they will be able to witness this in a new relationship I may have with a man. But until then I can show them what a strong, independent woman looks like. One that doesn’t settle for less.
And all I can hope is that they really do see it. I can only be the best I can be as an example. I can show them other great examples of how being a princess has little to do what they look like and everything to do with what’s on the inside. To be a princess means treating yourself with kindness, respect, having courage, and a knowledge that you are worth every good thing that happens to you.
The princess-clause is a thing, I just made it one. 😉 Because being a princess means so much more than having unrealistic hair expectations.
So that’s what I’m striving for. To show my daughters a good example of self-image by being good example and never settling for less. 😉
You can purchase the ReliBeauty Girls Princess Aurora Dress Costume at Amazon.