I have been single now for quite some time. Quite a long time it feels like! But what has amazed me is how many single people I have known don’t seem to stay single for very long.
So which is easier to do? To stay single or find and be in a relationship?
Well since you are asking, I firmly believe it is much harder to stay single in a world where everything and everyone is telling you that you need someone!
It’s probably the easiest these days to find someone, and I’m not saying finding “the one,” I‘m just saying finding anyone! There are virtually hundreds of dating sites out there. So with the click of a button or swipe of a finger, you can find a potential mate. Sounds super easy right? Does anyone actually meet in person, in the real world these days? Like what happened to striking up a conversation with a hottie in the frozen food aisle? Side note… Its a weird fantasy of mine to meet someone as our hands touch while both reaching for frozen peas… Tell me its not just me guys! But no, it is very rare to “meet someone” out there in the board daylight without a phone giving you the option of swiping left or right. Which let’s face it, is usually purely based on looks anyway. I’m just very old school with dating but old-school ways seem to be a thing of the past.
So if it’s so easy why am I still single?
Ah, glad you asked!
Because I don’t want to just find anyone from any ol dating app. Not that I haven’t attempted them. Not that I may or may not be on one right now. No shame in my game. We have to stay in with trends, and this is what everyone is doing these days, or be left behind. But I can’t just meet any ol guy. There are so many choices on these things yet, so many times I‘ve been so disappointed.
I think people just can’t stand the idea of being alone. Like being alone is the worst thing there is. And I get that. Loneliness can feel very painful sometimes. But its like if you don’t find your significant other your life is just incomplete until you do. That’s why there are so many dating apps! Sign up for one and the next thing you know there are dozens of ads on your facebook for another one. Each one claiming to be the best one. And I don’t think there‘s anything truly wrong with them… I just think there‘s nothing truly wrong with you if you are single, and are happy to be so. There‘s nothing wrong with you if haven’t been successful on those sites, they can be very shallow sometimes. It could just mean you have very high standards, like myself.
So I say be picky!
Don’t settle! Definitely, don’t settle just to say you have someone!
And while it may seem hard to stay single for awhile while waiting for “the one,” remember its so much better to stay single than be in a relationship that’s going nowhere fast. Or worse, just being in a relationship that compromises who you are or what you believe in all just to say you “have someone.” As if having someone is what makes you special. You are special all on your own!
You don’t need a relationship just to feel good about yourself.
You can be complete all by yourself.
You can be happy.
We should be taking advantage of the time we have being single. Take the time to learn about yourself. Discover what it is you do and don’t want going into another relationship. Be comfortable being you. Build stronger friendships. Do whatever it is YOU want to do!
It takes a strong person to stand alone and be ok with it and to be ok with just being themselves. Don’t for a second feel bad about that! I know I won’t any longer!
And if that special someone finds me that’s great, but until then…