Honestly

Most of my life I have chosen to believe the best in people. I choose to believe in what I saw about a person. I choose to believe in what they said as truth.

I was naive.

Sometimes it takes going through a hell of a lot to stop and realize that. I was so naive about so many people in my life.

It took me going through something tremendous and hideous to see people for what they were. And now I question everything and everyone.

My circle of friends is smaller than its ever been. Quality over quantity is a good rule of thumb for lots of things but especially when it comes to friends.

It’s amazing to me how much people lie. I know I have spoken about this a few times on my lil’ blog here but it continues to be a hard thing for me to swallow about people.

Isn’t it harder to lie? Then you have to remember what you said exactly and that little lie can easily become so many lies. When remembering the truth is sure to be easier.

Why people lie about parts of their life is beyond me. But the part of me that still, to this day, has a tiny bit of hope in people, tries to figure out the why in this.

Is it because people are afraid the truth will hurt others? I get that the truth can be a very tough pill to swallow. I, for one, understand that completely. When I was acting recklessly after my marriage when it comes to men, my best friend, who is incapable of not speaking the truth gave it to me straight. And for that, I kicked him out of my house! I didn’t want to hear the truth at that moment in time. But eventually, I saw the error of my ways and what I was doing to myself. He was the only one to call me out on my shit. The truth hurt… BUT the truth is what I needed to hear. The truth may hurt someone’s feelings BUT one saying always comes to mind, the quote above and I fully believe in it… “Hurt me with the truth but never comforting me with a lie.” Because honestly, whats worse than realizing you have been lied too?! Aren’t you worth the truth?

And yet another reason the lie is so compelling to others is so they can create their own truth. They can make others view them in a certain light. Take social media for instance… Do you really think you know someone’s life just by their photos online? Social media is the easiest way to lie about who you really are. And people eat it up, people so easily buy into whatever it is you are posting about yourself.

I used to be so naive. Believing everything about the way people/friends/family presented themselves. After you have been hurt by the ones closest to you, you start to see people so much differently.

There’s still a part of me that does hope for the best in others, my heart can’t deny feeling feelings. BUT I will say this, every action, every word you say to me is taken with a grain of salt until you earn that trust. For to be in my circle, you must prove you are trustworthy.

Anyone can talk the talk but very few can walk the walk.

 

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2 Comments

  1. This! I had friends who would lie about how much money they made or a promotion they were getting. Friends who would talk bad about others to me and then do the same about me to them. I don’t understand it, but just finally had to stop hanging out with them. I don’t have many friends now because of it but I got rid of the toxicity.

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