It seems to me that guilt and being a parent kind of go together. If you are a parent, you know exactly what I’m talking about!
Guilt… it’s inevitable — you are going to feel guilty more than once on your parenting journey. Now, with all the mom-shaming or just parent shaming in general, there’s even more guilt to be had.
It begins with pregnancy… Can you or can’t you have that one cup of coffee a day? Or eat sushi? Or certain kinds of cheese? Are you taking the right prenatal vitamins?
Then gradually it gets worse after the little monsters are born… oh heavens are you not breastfeeding? Are you a working mother? You let your child look at TV before they were two? You let your kid have chocolate?
And when the youngens get older… You let them ride the bus? You leave them home alone? You let your daughter dye her hair?
Or what about not having kids in activities like dance or soccer? Are they doing too many activities and not being allowed to be kids? Are they eating right? Are they watching too much TV or on their tablets too much?
Do I yell too much? Should I be yelling more? Should I be stricter? Do they know how freaking much I love them?!?!?
We all know its HARD as hell to be a parent. Every single day, there is article after article about what we should and shouldn’t be doing as parents. There is picture after picture of our friends and family on social media making it look as if its effortless or they have it all figured out.
Well, I’m here to call bull! EVERY parent has the same thoughts and worries and trying times. Not everyone is similar, but if parenting were easy there wouldn’t be so many darn books, groups, articles, or controversy about it!
I’m here to tell you that if you are like me and have these mini conversations in your head about what else you could possibly be doing right or wrong with your kids, chances are you are doing a good job. A parent who worries this much is most likely doing the best he or she can. The stakes are high when trying to raise little ones to grow up to be decent human beings. There are people out there that think their way is the best way. But like I have to tell myself, God gave me these girls because I was meant to be their mother and no one is going to love them quite like me, no one. I have what they need, and if I don’t I’ll damn sure figure out a way to provide whatever it may be.
And that is what I think it means to be a good parent. Unconditional love and support. Albeit tough love at times, because sometimes they need it.
Guilt-free parenting needs to be a thing. If you are doing your very best for your kids, and yes that looks different from others at times, then let go of that guilt. It’s only going to weigh you down. 🙂